Is it normal to miss your booty call?
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
You need a sexual gate keeper
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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