I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
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