Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Randomize