I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize
