Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Randomize
