I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
