Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
