he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
