overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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