We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
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It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
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Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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