john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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