How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Randomize
