I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
