You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
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