Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Randomize
