Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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