My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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