I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
this will be a night to untag.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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