Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
