Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Randomize
