There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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