I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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