he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
