Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Is Oprah even human
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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