South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
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