How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
