we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I currently don't understand fingers.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
