If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
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