I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
