Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
