Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize
