I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
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