Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I still have a little drunk in my system
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
