Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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