I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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