Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
