I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
