i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
