This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
