I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
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