I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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