he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
