As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
