I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Randomize
