Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Four minutes until I can fart!
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
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You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
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We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
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