I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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