I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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