found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
