I'm going to jail i love you
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Randomize
