He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
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