They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
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I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
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Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Good news!! I can adult!! π turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ππ
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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