I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
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