THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
this hospital has no fireball
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
