I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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