Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
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I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
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So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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