i permit you to call me
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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