Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I party with great urgency now.
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