just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
