I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Randomize
