no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
