Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
