the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
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