I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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