Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
