OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Randomize
