you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
